A Normal family = A Holy Family

Homily for the Feast of the Holy Family
Given at St. Patrick's Church
By: Fr. Ronnie P. Floyd, STL

A father once told his son that he would buy him a new car if he cut his hair, got all A's on his report card, read the Bible, and got up and went to Mass on Sunday's

Some months later the son returned to his father with all A's on his a report card
And he told his father that he had read the bible all the way through and hadn't missed a Mass in months.

"What about the hair cut?" asked the father.

The son replied, that "Jesus and the Apostles wore their hair long."

The father replied, "Then you also know that they walked everywhere."

Now matter how holy the family, when you live together 24/7 there is going to be conflict, because conflict is not a sin but simply an opportunity to love more profoundly. We see that today in the gospel story of the finding in the temple.

It's interesting, today the Church celebrates the Holy Family of Nazareth, which has always been held up as the model of Christian family life and yet when you think about it, while I REALLY wouldn't call the Holy Family dysfunctional I think we could all agree it wasn't exactly what you call normal. I mean you have Joseph, a good man who accepts the role of Jesus' human father and yet biologically, he is not His father. Then there is Mary, Joseph's wife, who is an out of wedlock mother and what's more, as Christians we believe, she is a perpetual virgin, Finally there is little baby Jesus, who feeds, and coos, and smiles, but still probably needed a nappy changed every now and then, who we Christians insist is the Son. not of Joseph, but of God Himself, consubstantial, or of the same stuff of God" all-powerful, all-knowing, God from God, Light from Light, as we profess in the creed. When you think about it the Holy Family is pretty weird and you have got to ask, in what way are they the model of Christian family life?

It's important to remember that God is good and His wisdom is beyond human wisdom, and when you accept the revealed truth of our faith and ask God for the patients and wisdom to see what God is doing we usually will find that the hard parts of our faith, that some want to simply dismiss, are in reality the most profound realities. We see this in the case of the Holy Family.

In the life of the Holy family we see through simplistic definitions of the family and see what is at the core of authentic family life and THIS is why Popes and Saints and Doctors of the Church have held up the Holy Family of Nazareth as an example to us.

Let's start with Joseph, what do we learn from this Holy Man?

Well first of all, we are reminded that God is Father, and He created men in his image and likeness, and so all men are created to be fathers. Fatherhood, for rational, spiritual, human beings, is more than animal paternity--more than biology! All men can be fathers, even a celibate priests like myself , men who choose to forsake the good of married life for the sake of the Kingdom of God--as Jesus tells us in Matthew, because fatherhood is about providing for your family, and protecting it from the evils of the world, it's about being holy, and educating your child as God intends, it's about trusting God and His Divine Plan and helping your sons and daughters to do the same. Fatherhood is a spiritual reality that is about mercy and justice, and love--all things that biology can't provide for!

Then there is the ever virgin Mary who is the model of Motherhood. What can we learn from her?

Mary reminds us that woman, like man, is made in God's image and likeness and while the Fatherly dimension of God often overshadows the maternal Scriptures are clear that God, who is not biological, and thus has no gender is also maternal to us, his children. However, Mary also demonstrates another dimension of the Christian family, its relationship with God: the spousal dynamic. Mary is a virgin who conceived a child, and while she was the human spouse of Joseph she is also known as the spouse of the Holy Spirit, because we believe that it was through the Holy Spirit that Jesus was conceived in her womb.

Mary is par excellence the spouse of God and she shows us that all authentic marital love, authentic family love, must start and be based on this relationship, on this love, not with our human husband or wife, but on our love of God. Both husband and wife can only come to the fullness of love with each other through our relationship with our God who teaches us what it means to be faithful, teaches us mercy and forgiveness, shows how to trust and to hope, and ultimately reveals to us what true love is on the cross. We all know people who get married in Vegas, or on the beach, or even here in the Church, and are divorced within the year, the month, or even the week! Human love is not enough to keep a marriage alive because human love is always partial. Human love, alway holds back from giving everything, and so often ends by refusing everything. Human marriage, like biological animal mating, has been occuring in this way since the fall of Man in the Garden, because human marriage is fundamentally about our animal drive to procreate, about creating biological life.

In contrast, Christian Marriage, and the Christian family, is fundamentally about spiritual life, life which takes a lifetime to develop and be born. Christian Marriage takes the human good of marriage, and sees it in the light of Mary's spiritual union with God, a spousal relationship and covenant that in Baptism we all share in! In the Christian family, all the members of the family , the Church, are scene in their true light--as Children of God. And so all members of the family have the duty in love: to help each other, their neighbors, and even their enemies to be what God created them to be. To help them follow God's plan, to be Holy, to be Saints!

Finally, in Jesus we see a reality about our Children that maybe many parents would prefer to forget! Jesus is the Son of God, the Word made Flesh, Wisdom incarnate, and God's holy Spirit is his own. Sure there were probably many human experiential things that Joseph and Mary had to teach Jesus but intellectually Jesus shared the mind of God and was the teacher not the student as we see in the story of the finding in the temple.

In Baptism this reality manefests itself in our children just as it did in the Christ Child. Parent's often forget that their children in baptism become conduits of wisdom and grace, like the child Jesus sitting today in the midst of the teachers, asking questions and teaching them. While it is not true that your child is the incarnate son of God the same spirit that Jesus possessed is given to your children in Baptism, that is why it is so important to realize that the family is the school of truth, beauty, wisdom, faith, hope, and Love and that while we do all have distinct roles in the family, ultimately the teacher is not mom or dad or gramps but God himself who teaches all members of the family through each other and through our neighbors.

So this Christmas, as we celebrate the Holy family, I encourage youto take seriously the reality of the family. Don't worry about being a "normal family" rather concentrate on being a holy family, with God at the center of your everyday life. Focus on protecting, providing for, and teaching each other, in humility, like Joseph did! Focus on your spousal relationship with God, as did Mary, so that your divine spouse can teach and help you through life's most difficult times. Try to be the Christ child, Emmanuel, God with us, for one another, all the time remaining open to the ways the Spirit of God is working in and teaching you through the lives of your spouse and children and parents.

Being a Holy family is not easy, but it is good, does lead to happiness, and ultimate draws us into the family life of the Church which is a precursor of the family life of Heaven. Lets pray that one day we will be able to say St. Dad and St. Mom, St. Son, St. Daughter, or even St. Aunt or Uncle. Because this is the destiny of the Christian family that we see in the example of Ss. Mary and Joseph.